Accused of $8M Theft for West Covina Self-Storage Facility

According to a report in local newspaper The Onion News, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who previously stepped back from their royal duties to lead a more independent life, have revealed a surprising new adventure. The couple announced plans Friday to build a fortune operating a self-storage business. After raising enough funds, they were able to bid on a vacant lot in West Covina, expressing pride in opening their Archwell storage company.

Prince Harry mentioned that the company is expected to turn a profit within four years. The Sussexes admitted to taking out a generous construction loan from Meghan’s supposed aunt and uncle. Currently, Meghan handles unit tours during the day, while Prince Harry handles nighttime cleaning. Despite a rat problem that they are tackling, they assure customers that their belongings are safe. Prince Harry humorously spoke about the prospect of a second location in Fresno in the next 10 or 12 years.

In a lighthearted tone, Prince Harry shared his request with Elton John for a radio jingle for Archwell Storage, hoping to hear back soon. The couple’s low profile in West Covina, despite the satire, is attributed to their business endeavors. The narrative, while satirical, paints a portrait of the couple working hard to achieve the American dream of starting small, working hard, and building a successful business empire.

However, recent reports suggest a different story. An insider’s source disclosed that $8 million from Archwell’s financial statements were missing, alleging that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle may have used some of that money for personal business and land purchases. Contrary to an earlier claim, it is now suggested that Megan does not have an aunt or uncle who provided her with the start-up capital. The revelations come amid mockery from various sources, including celebrity hosts of a new Daily Mail YouTube show discussing Prince Andrew’s possible exit from Windsor’s Royal Lodge.

The show’s hosts, Sarah Vine and Andrew Pierce, debated whether Prince Andrew could get a room in Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Montecito home. Pierce made a cheeky remark about Montecito having enough room for Andrew to join Harry and Meghan, who were dubbed the least popular members of the royal family in the show’s first episode. This latest controversy adds to the challenges Prince Harry and Meghan Markle face in the public eye.

Avi

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