We all know that Harry and Meghan have been as welcome in the royal family as a fox in a henhouse since they decided to ditch their tiaras for sunny California. But they made an exception for the Queen’s big bash, probably thinking they could just sneak in, wave to the crowds, and leave without making a sound. Oh, how wrong they were.
Mike Tindall, former rugby player, married to Princess Anne’s daughter Zara, and apparently the new bouncer for the royal family. This guy has more muscles than Buckingham Palace has bedrooms, and he’s not afraid to show them off – metaphorically speaking, of course.
After the Jubilee concert, which Harry and Meghan skipped (I guess they had an urgent avocado toast emergency or something), Mike reportedly dropped a bombshell. And when I say bombshell, I mean he described Harry with a word so sharp it could cut through royal protocol like a hot knife through butter. What is that earth-shattering word, you ask? Brace yourself: “comic book.”
That’s right, folks. Mike Tindall, the husband of a princess, called Prince Harry, the king’s son, a “comic stripper.” I mean, he doesn’t mince his words. It’s like he took one look at Harry and decided, “Yeah, that’s what we’re going to do.”
Now let’s take a moment to appreciate the audacity of this decision. Mike Tindall, who is practically a royal relative, just dropped a bombshell like that about the king’s son. It’s like showing up at a fancy dinner party and deciding to use the salad fork for your main course. It’s just not done.
This wasn’t just an off-the-cuff remark. Oh no, this was Mike apparently confiding his true feelings to another guest. It was like he was in the world’s fanciest water cooler, spilling tea hotter than the Earl Grey they served at the palace.
And let’s not forget that this is coming from a man who was once very close to Harry. They were like the royal version of Frasier and Niles, always laughing, joking, probably sharing a pint or two. But now, they’re colder than the Queen’s jewel box. One wonders what happened to turn Mike from Harry’s friend into a workaholic. Did Harry forget to return a borrowed polo mallet? Did he leave Mike on read in the royal WhatsApp group? Or is there something deeper, something that goes to the very heart of what it means to be royal?
This is about loyalty, duty, and what happens when you decide to trade in your royal robes for a Netflix deal. Mike Tindall, with that one word, drew a line in the sand. On one side, you have the remaining royals, showing up to boring inaugurations and endless charity lunches. On the other, well, you have Harry and Meghan, sipping oat milk lattes in Montecito and spilling royal secrets faster than a clumsy footman with a tea tray.
Because this drama didn’t unfold behind closed doors. Oh no, we have a front-row seat to the chill of St Paul’s Cathedral. Picture this: the royals are all walking out after the ceremony, probably thinking about what to have for lunch, when Zara strikes up a conversation with Meghan. Diplomatic, right? But Mike, our boy Mike, decides this is the perfect time to suddenly become fascinated by the Earl of Snowdon. That’s right, he’d rather talk about snow or whatever than greet Harry and Meghan. Talk about a royal snub. It’s like watching a real-life version of Mean Girls, but with better hats. Mike Tindall is standing there, probably thinking, “You can’t sit with us,” while Harry and Meghan try to navigate this suddenly very chilly family gathering.
And can we talk about the irony of the situation? Mike Tindall, a former rugby player married to a member of the royal family, is now apparently the guardian of royal protocol. Meanwhile, Harry, born into the House of Windsor, is treated as if he had arrived at Christmas dinner in jeans and a T-shirt.
